Tag: ritual

Remaking Intimacy

“My introduction to my own sensuality was the Kama Sutra. I soaked up the rituals of relationship and mating,” I tell Loki as we walk through my memory together.

“There was one section about making a sort of love sachet from scented wax and flower petals, and another about the male growing specific nails longer to pinch half-moon marks on his beloved. I thought that was the most romantic thing I’d ever consumed. I immediately pinched half-moons on my hand, as described in the text. It was a ritual for lovers separated by distance, and I used it to close the distance between myself and my own sensuality.”

I realize this under Loki’s supervision.

Together, we watch my younger self enact the ritual.

“A lot of sensation in that canonical text,” Loki acknowledges.

“Yes. The sensations to be had were gorgeously detailed.

I chewed mint leaves to discover the moment right before kissing for myself.

I remade intimacy then, creating a different experience of it than I’d previously known.”

I watch her with him as she picks up the pieces of heartbreak, one instruction at a time.

“Magic comes from the self.” His words wrap me in new confidence.

Salting

Salting myself, coarse friction,
dissolving granules
of earth and sea.
My skin hums, exposed to sensation.
My heart burns.
My mind intent on simple ritual and result.
I hum a funeral song for the departed
and the blessing of what once was.

Petals into Pieces

“I want you to take my rose and tear the petals into pieces over your bed,” Loki instructs.

The rose I had offered him is given back. I do as he says.

“Now sleep in it.”

Woodsy Musk

I sit down to clean Loki’s boots.

Brushing earth bits from them.

Rubbing out the scuffs and polishing them to a shine again.

Their woodsy musk scent smells of him. I think about his feet slipping inside them, flexing his toes to feel their structure and remind them of his shape.

I set the brush back on the shelf and the leather oil and rag in their box and wait patiently for him, aglow with love.

Loki’s song choice: “Silence” by Delerium featuring Sarah McLachlan.

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