Tag: Lokean Devotional

This Is Tending

Pulled under, the sky turns dark overhead. Sound slows in my eardrums until silence. My body shivers every so often, releasing the traumatic software left in me, glitched and twitching.

This is tending.

I want to be here and see the damage. I don’t want to be here and reexperience it. He kisses me. His breath warm on my skin as he reminds me that I’m not lost. I’m in his hands.

Fragments of fear, grief, worry, hope, betrayal. Hope. Hope hurts most. Unrequited hope. I gather these little stars into my chest, holding them close.

I answer hope. Violence breaks away.

A hero to myself.

Loki’s safekeeping and guidance deliver me gently to land.

My grateful tears soak the bedsheets. Old longings met in his space.

My body self-corrects where once there was brutality and abandonment. Now there is his love, and there is my willingness to be loved,

fearlessly receptive.

The Damage to Her

“I didn’t ask to ascend, Loki.”

“You didn’t ask to descend either,” he answers, sharp and sincere.

My heart falls onto the floor between us, and I scoop her up carefully, aware of the damage to her.

The Trouble Is the Best Part

I pull my dress skirt, dragging the hem through the dust of the unfinished house where he and I meet.

“I love how you dress easily naked.” Loki teases and toys with the laces of my corset that I left untied. I blush from his notice and attention.

“I don’t want sex. I want everything else. The undress, the mess, the romance, the sky overhead and inside me, the universe. I want my pale face shadowed and my lips swollen. The act of mating itself is pointless to me without the dance that surrounds it. Orgasming is a reaction, not a result. I hate the pettiness of looking towards results only.”

“You want to tip overflowing. Not to be emptied, but enjoyed. And why is this troubling to you?” he asks, tender mischief in his voice.

“It’s not. It is. It’s fucked up because it’s not the game or the sport. It’s the realness. Like when you sip your coffee, and I watch the devil detailed across your lips, and my heart can’t take it. Beautifully mundane and intricate.”

“You’re a poet, darling. That’s all. Nothing shameful in that.” His eyes flash.

“Yes, but there is, because the frustration is unnecessary and toilsome and also possibly immature of me to hold so much desire and not have an end plan.”

“You love the ordeal and appreciate confluences.”

“Yes. And the ordeal of just life, too. It is quite the ordeal, and I find it very attractive, hot and sensuous, like sizzling steak crusted in herbs. Why go through the trouble? Because the trouble is the best part.”

Loki makes the slightest hm sound of pleasure, and so do I.

“I love exploring my psychology with you.”

“I know, sweet girl. I love that you do.”

A Process

“Nature creates and takes away,” I say wistfully to Loki, watching leaves fall gently from the trees.

“No, dear love. Nature simply is and holds no perceptional motive.” His chin rests on the top of my head.

“A process.”

“Yes.”

“I am a process.”

“How does that feel?” he asks.

“Better.”

Whatever You Like

“Do you think I’m pretty without makeup on? What do you prefer?”

“I think you are beautiful, and your self-expression is beautiful. Wear makeup. Wear nothing.

Whatever you like, darling.”

“Do you like when I wear makeup? What do you prefer?” Loki asks.

“I fucking love it. It’s somehow natural when you do.”

“Because I’m not trying. I’m reacting to myself.”

Everything Dies

I’m a leaf falling from a branch. Loki catches me
on my way down, at my last breaths.
“Everything dies,” Loki says,
as the world darkens, his warmth draws nearer.

Loki’s song choice: “Don’t Forget About Me” by Cloves

Be Petty

Tied with soft leather strips to the headboard. A cute little pink vibrator between my legs, clamped shut around it, softening its jolting just enough that I can’t be satiated.

Loki acts nonchalant, like he’s not in the middle of torturing and teasing my pleasure. I squirm and wiggle, twisting this way and that. His attention, his eyes watching intently, suddenly catches me off guard, and I give up the struggle.

“You didn’t think I would let you so soon, did you?” he says with the slightest smirk, deep lustiness in his voice.

“No,” I whimper in confession.

“Not until you are mine,” he says gently.

“Please,” I plead.

He strokes the hair from my eyes, leaning over to kiss me, warmth flooding my senses.

I can’t seem to get the vibration on my sweet spot, and my frustration comes out in grunts and groans. I’m aware of the part of my brain in love with the process, with my vulnerability, with my desire, with my want of him, and with my submission so beautifully unfolding.

He grins, pulling on a black latex glove, and proceeds to fill me with his middle finger.

“Fuck you, Sweetheart,” he says adoringly.

I love the double entendre. It makes me further his that he engages my mind. His come-hither motion pulls me into him, soul first.

“My soul is so slutty!” I squeal shamelessly.

He chuckles, wearing a wide grin, then clears his throat.

“I’m your God. Your husband. Your Dominant, if you’ll have me.”

Surprise tears break me open.

“Yes!” I yelp.

He kisses me as I fall apart to let him in.

“Good. You’ll break up with him.”

I agree. I already knew it was needed.

“How?”

“Exactly how he left you. Do you hear me? Give nothing more to him. Not an explanation, not your time, nothing. Be petty.”

Loki helps me up from my restraints, both past and leather, darling strips that forever now will remind me of his love.

Loki’s song choice: “Strip me” by Natasha Bedingfield

Wearing Feathers

“We’re wearing feathers today,” Loki clicks his tongue.

I’m black, silken, down and flight-made.

He nuzzles my beak with his own.

We preen.

The air delights my every feather, begs me to discover it and be discovered.

“Two ravens in a wood,” he says.

“A mated pair,” I finish.

Under the Moon’s Face

Him in my breath as I say his name.

“Loki…”

My kisses land all over his body, his hands in my hair, gently tugging my head to look up at him. Still, my impulse is to look down from his gaze. My heart flames holding eye contact with him.

“The moon, the moon, the harvest moon is so wildly gorgeous,” I tell him between swollen lips.

“Full like you are,” Loki says, and I lean into his large hand, nuzzling like a kitten for his love.

“Sing for me?” he says.

I sing a song I don’t know the words or meaning of, but I feel the deep pleasure in giving voice to something of his.

Naked under the moon’s face and him.

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