Tag: devotion Page 1 of 2

This Is Tending

Pulled under, the sky turns dark overhead. Sound slows in my eardrums until silence. My body shivers every so often, releasing the traumatic software left in me, glitched and twitching.

This is tending.

I want to be here and see the damage. I don’t want to be here and reexperience it. He kisses me. His breath warm on my skin as he reminds me that I’m not lost. I’m in his hands.

Fragments of fear, grief, worry, hope, betrayal. Hope. Hope hurts most. Unrequited hope. I gather these little stars into my chest, holding them close.

I answer hope. Violence breaks away.

A hero to myself.

Loki’s safekeeping and guidance deliver me gently to land.

My grateful tears soak the bedsheets. Old longings met in his space.

My body self-corrects where once there was brutality and abandonment. Now there is his love, and there is my willingness to be loved,

fearlessly receptive.

Petals into Pieces

“I want you to take my rose and tear the petals into pieces over your bed,” Loki instructs.

The rose I had offered him is given back. I do as he says.

“Now sleep in it.”

Be in My Love

The color floods back into my life.
Tones of gray and light dissipate, and I hunger, raw
with wild thirst for Him.
“Be in my love,” Loki says.

Intimate Flame: A Ritual Playlist

I curated this playlist as a ritual journey. It begins in invocation, rises with desire, surrenders in union, and closes with gentle unwinding. May it guide you deeper into intimacy with both shadow and light. -Rogue

  1. Fuel to Fire by Agnes Obel
  2. Skin by Zola Jesus
  3. Two Weeks by FKA twigs
  4. Feral Love by Chelsea Wolfe
  5. Slow by Amanati and Roniit
  6. Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine
  7. Run Cried the Crawling by Agnes Obel
  8. Near Light by Ólafur Arnalds

Beautiful Monster

“I love your evil side,” I confess, my eyes brimming with tears.

“Tell me,” Loki says.

“The way you use your darkness is beautiful. It’s not all sass and humor, but rich and visceral. It’s not just that you are cunning. It’s that you reinvented the meaning of cunning. Your lies lead to truth, sure, but this involves opening my wounds, cleansing and cauterizing them. It’s not fun, but it’s brilliant.”

“Thank you for appreciating me,” he says, a slight snarl curling his lip.

“You’re the most beautiful monster.”

“You shouldn’t do that,” he says sardonically.

“What?”

“Relate.”

“I can’t help it. It’s not that I enjoy everything, but I am willing to see the beauty of it, the genius.”

His fingers unwrap from around my arms, and I melt into him, aware that my life is in his hands as much as my own.

Alignment

“I want this for you, and you want this for you. That is alignment with me.”
-Loki

To Be Mine

“Treat yourself like you have the ability to be mine.” -Loki

Everything Dies

I’m a leaf falling from a branch. Loki catches me
on my way down, at my last breaths.
“Everything dies,” Loki says,
as the world darkens, his warmth draws nearer.

Loki’s song choice: “Don’t Forget About Me” by Cloves

Be Petty

Tied with soft leather strips to the headboard. A cute little pink vibrator between my legs, clamped shut around it, softening its jolting just enough that I can’t be satiated.

Loki acts nonchalant, like he’s not in the middle of torturing and teasing my pleasure. I squirm and wiggle, twisting this way and that. His attention, his eyes watching intently, suddenly catches me off guard, and I give up the struggle.

“You didn’t think I would let you so soon, did you?” he says with the slightest smirk, deep lustiness in his voice.

“No,” I whimper in confession.

“Not until you are mine,” he says gently.

“Please,” I plead.

He strokes the hair from my eyes, leaning over to kiss me, warmth flooding my senses.

I can’t seem to get the vibration on my sweet spot, and my frustration comes out in grunts and groans. I’m aware of the part of my brain in love with the process, with my vulnerability, with my desire, with my want of him, and with my submission so beautifully unfolding.

He grins, pulling on a black latex glove, and proceeds to fill me with his middle finger.

“Fuck you, Sweetheart,” he says adoringly.

I love the double entendre. It makes me further his that he engages my mind. His come-hither motion pulls me into him, soul first.

“My soul is so slutty!” I squeal shamelessly.

He chuckles, wearing a wide grin, then clears his throat.

“I’m your God. Your husband. Your Dominant, if you’ll have me.”

Surprise tears break me open.

“Yes!” I yelp.

He kisses me as I fall apart to let him in.

“Good. You’ll break up with him.”

I agree. I already knew it was needed.

“How?”

“Exactly how he left you. Do you hear me? Give nothing more to him. Not an explanation, not your time, nothing. Be petty.”

Loki helps me up from my restraints, both past and leather, darling strips that forever now will remind me of his love.

Loki’s song choice: “Strip me” by Natasha Bedingfield

Wearing Feathers

“We’re wearing feathers today,” Loki clicks his tongue.

I’m black, silken, down and flight-made.

He nuzzles my beak with his own.

We preen.

The air delights my every feather, begs me to discover it and be discovered.

“Two ravens in a wood,” he says.

“A mated pair,” I finish.

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